I have a theory. I will share with you a little later.
I was the first person in my family to graduate from High School. Within months, age 16, with my diploma in hand I left home. I’d been called headstrong for a lifetime. I considered it determination.
I soon had a job after I learned to lie and say I was 18. I was raised to clean, cook, do laundry, and other acts of responsibility. After acquiring a job, I found roommates. With each step taken I prided myself on my self-sufficiency. My pride considered asking for help a failure on my part.
Fast forward sixty years. My stubborn pride has been chipped away by diminishing health. Six months ago, I was struggling from my car to a store entrance. A stranger stopped and asked if she could help me. I politely declined. I had a long drive home and my brain steadily insisted on asking why. I couldn’t answer. I then discovered I needed wheelchair carts at the grocery store. They eased my chore, but my head shouted defeat. I had to go from one cane to two. Though my head claims to be fifty, my physical decline laughs at my hubris.
My theory with each acknowledged assist we learn that other people are kind. The example that shifted my mindset: I use a dry cleaners downtown. Their door is extremely heavy and opens out. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit what a struggle it was.
On my third visit, as I was working my way out of the steps to get out of the car, the passenger door opened. It was the lovely young woman who works the counter. She said, “I’ll take these, no need to come in.” Tears sprang as grateful relief spread through my system. She didn’t ask. She did, blasting a hole through my stupid willfulness.
I’ve learned to accept help when needed. Why, because those who offer help will need it one day and we must set an example to ensure they get it.